Okay, calm down. One at a time!

Der.
I have so many things to do around here that I can't seem to pick just one (or four) to work on. I've been doing a little of this and a little of that, and now the apartment is way messier than it was when I started.
Going to pick one thing. Okay, the kitchen. Finish that before hanging any new shelves or building anything else.

Sheesh!

Yeah, and I have actually painted my toe nails, too!

It's 3:15 and my headache has finally gone away. Fuck! I didn't think I was that drunk last night, though I barely remember going to bed. Mostly, I think it was the fact that I drank wine in the afternoon and a lot of beer. I know the rule-Never mix the grape and the grain-I did not follow the rule. I pay the price. Meh. I had fun damnit! That's what life's about.

Missing the fella awful bad. Six days and no word. Yes, I wish he'd call, but at the same time, I know he needs his space as do I. It'd just be nice. I know that some of my girlfriends would be so mad at him if they read this, but I am not mad at him. I figure that he needs some feeling of independence. He needs to feel like a man again, and I think he deserves that. He's had a shitty year and has had everyone worrying about him as though he is helpless. Because of that, he started acting helpless and letting all of us take care of him and do everything for him. That's bad for so many reasons and it's an easy trap to get caught in. From both sides.

Yeah, I miss him, but this is good.

I'm taking this time alone to get a lot of stuff done that I just never seem to allow myself to make time for. Things like painting. It's been years and years since I've done any of that. I want to move my pre-war Lionel train set into the livingroom (doesn't really go with the pin-up girl pics and naughty bedroom decor) but the shelf that I have for it is black, as are the two engines, and they won't show up, so I'm going to draw or paint city-scapes or maybe country side backdrops for the train cars. It may be cute, or it may be hokey, but both are my tastes, so that's good!
I'd also like to write again. Nothing special, just rev up my journal. I got really lazy about that too. I watch way too much tv and don't do enough for my poor suffering brain.

I hope he calls tonight, but I am going to just do my own thing and not worry about it if he doesn't. I know he loves me and misses me, but he's gotta do his own thing for awhile.

As do I.